Doin' what I do

I haven't been posting awhile partly because I have been cranky and partly because I have been doin' what I do. I have been living into my deacon-ness by serving others and by trying to witness to God in a broken world.

First of all, a huge flood hit Nashville and other surrounding areas including towns that were about a half hour away from me. It was awful sitting in front of the TV and watching the water rise over people's homes and neighborhoods and not being able to do anything about it. Knowing that families and communities would be without homes and school. If you haven't heard about it or seen pictures- go to you tube and search for Nashville flood. I knew that I couldn't sit in my house and do nothing! I needed to get my hands dirty. I needed to be with people and grieve and rejoice with them.

One of my good friends is a youth pastor in one of the counties that was hit badly (only 30 minutes away from me!) so, I went to help at the Donation/Distribution Center. You don't really get the full effect of the flood even by pictures. We had families that came in after not eating for days. We had people who are going to be bulldozing their homes. People came in to the center in tears and with literally the clothing on their back....

About a week later, my grandmother passed away. And my family asked me to do the service. I felt like the biggest hypocrite. My grandmother was a Christian so it wasn't that. My family just didn't treat her very well in life and now we were mourning her death. For myself, there was a lot of regret about the things I should have said and things I should have done. It was incredibly hard to talk about her being a loving mother when the family didn't think that she was.

What I realized in all this, is that this is why I am a deacon (called to word and service). I need to be in the middle of serving the homeless and the hungry. I need to get my hands dirty. If I can't do that, then I need to be inspiring people directly to get THEIR hands dirty. I need to be outside the church, being the church in the world. There is something inside me (I suspect the Holy Spirit) that calls me to be a servant first and a leader second. My leadership in this experience grew out of first a desire and willingness to do something!

As far as the funeral goes, I was able to glorify God and the life of my grandmother, because I know that God is more loving and more gracious in death, than we are to one another in life. I need to speak words of forgiveness and new life after a hard life filled with pain, suffering, and unforgiveness. It is to be witness of hope in a broken and hurting family and world.

These past few weeks, I may not have been doing much of my job as a "youth minister"but, I have been doing what it is that God has called me to. Praise be to God!