It starts small- with a ring and a promise. A hint from a friend or two. A nice thought out proposal. Or a proposal that you (as the willful one in this relationship) seriously botched. Two word- "Will you...." A kiss and a smile. And then the chaos starts.
You make big plans, or you make small plans. Inevitably when other people get involved it snowballs. You ask your friends to be there during the journey- sometimes they are and sometimes they aren't. You talk about where you are going to live and what your family is going to look like? Can you be submissive and gentle? Who does the housework no one wants to do?. How is the past going to effect your relationship? Can you forgive? Not only for the big stuff- but the little stuff as well- the times you forget to do your part or you are having a grumpy day. How does this relationship effect the other relationships you have? With your parents? Your friends? Your church? Your enemies? You fight about stupid things, and you hold your ground about the important things. You try to find the solutions. The best way for you two to fit together in the world before you make the big commitment.
This is what the United Methodist church calls commissioning. Commissioning is our engagement to God and the church. We know that we want this special relationship with him. A relationship that sets us apart from others. We have not yet made the "big" commitment of being fully ordained, but we are willing to explore what that looks like in our relationship. By the time, we have come to this point, we should have pretty well decided that this is what we are going to do with the rest of our lives, but it still hits us like a ton of bricks. We keep talking about it in our residency groups and with our friends and family. (can you say pre-martial counseling?) We look at the things that we may have glossed over before. We learn how to do this relationship in the best way for us and our churches. If it doesn't work about between us, we can still call it off. It will still be incredibly painful and heartbreaking, but what if we had waited? Our churches and leaders are making sure that this is in fact the question God is asking you and that you can live up to your vows of commitment. The question is "can I do this? Is that what God want from me?"
God loves us no matter what. He is constantly "popping" different questions and wooing us into a deeper relationship with God. We all have different times when we are giddy in love with God and times when we have to ask hard questions. Maybe other people are married or enagaged to God in different ways. But, as I keep trying to describe the special relationship that God has called me into and the committment I have made to God- this image works for me. An image of joy and gladness, communication and struggles, the image of wooing and acceptance.
At the end point of ordination, there is a huge celebration and lots of well-wishers. As hard as this process may be, at the end you are married. You are in the place you are supposed to be and united to the one who loves and adores you and it doesn't get any better than that.
Ps. I got the idea for this blog from the post "Dearly Beloved" by Katie Yahns on the Fidelia's Sister's e-zine. Google YoungClergy Women Project.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Jobless Blessings
So, I have spent the last 5 or 6 months actively looking for a second job (since my job is part-time). I have applied for everything including jobs at hospitals, administrative jobs, keeping kids, etc. The only real problem I feel like is that my priority is my youth. I can't work Sunday or Wednesdays and prefer not to work every night.
While this is often overwhelming (applications sometimes take an hour and a half to complete), it has been an amazing way to learn about new ministries in the surrounding areas. I found a word processing job that lead to me learning about Dismas Charities (Dismascharities.com) , which helps those who are about to be released from prison find a job. (Score!) Looking for jobs at the YMCA introduced me to their counseling program (did you know they had one? Only in TN!) called Restore Ministries. Today, I was looking and found several after-school care programs that focus on academics and athletic character building for underprivileged youth.
Even though the job hunt is yet unfruitful, I am not discouraged. God is working in our world and my community. There are other people serving in paid and volunteer capacities that care about our youth, our children, our military. All of these opportunities make me say "Wow!" and give me great ideas for my future ministry options and ideas. We are all in this together. We are creating a world where the church does not have to do everything (good thing since we can't) and have full responsibility for everyone. These organizations allow us and others to be Christians in different ways, outside the church walls. It reminds us that the mission of the church is not just Sunday School or construction projects, but entire systems that support "the least of these" through sustainable long-term programs.
My church may not have the resources to do homeless ministry, prison ministry, and ministry with those who have disabilities, but our hope comes in that God will raise up someone who does have resources, who can do these ministries, and who will follow the will of God.
While this is often overwhelming (applications sometimes take an hour and a half to complete), it has been an amazing way to learn about new ministries in the surrounding areas. I found a word processing job that lead to me learning about Dismas Charities (Dismascharities.com) , which helps those who are about to be released from prison find a job. (Score!) Looking for jobs at the YMCA introduced me to their counseling program (did you know they had one? Only in TN!) called Restore Ministries. Today, I was looking and found several after-school care programs that focus on academics and athletic character building for underprivileged youth.
Even though the job hunt is yet unfruitful, I am not discouraged. God is working in our world and my community. There are other people serving in paid and volunteer capacities that care about our youth, our children, our military. All of these opportunities make me say "Wow!" and give me great ideas for my future ministry options and ideas. We are all in this together. We are creating a world where the church does not have to do everything (good thing since we can't) and have full responsibility for everyone. These organizations allow us and others to be Christians in different ways, outside the church walls. It reminds us that the mission of the church is not just Sunday School or construction projects, but entire systems that support "the least of these" through sustainable long-term programs.
My church may not have the resources to do homeless ministry, prison ministry, and ministry with those who have disabilities, but our hope comes in that God will raise up someone who does have resources, who can do these ministries, and who will follow the will of God.
Monday, April 12, 2010
A Case for Bar Ministry
God is sneaky. Often, when I am sitting with my students in youth group, trying to do my job, trying everything possible to communicate the gospel to them, I fail. Miserably. I try to use videos and games and everything else, but when it comes down to it- I freeze. I worry so much about what I'm saying that it comes out staged or rehearsed or it's just not enough. I know that God has called me to proclaim the gospel, but most of the time it doesn't feel that way.
So, God uses bars (the drinking kind- not the playground kind) to remind me of my call. This weekend one of Joe's friends from college got married. It was a big to-do and lots of our old friends were there. I was especially excited because our friends, a couple from North Carolina had come into town. So, after the wedding and reception, we went out (to a bar) with all our old friends. I end up sitting next to the husband of this couple and he starts asking me whether or not I think that people will do the right thing when left to their own devices. Honestly, when we started talking I was annoyed because I thought it was going to be a conversation about health care and I dislike talking to people about health care. But, actually when it came down to it- he was concerned about the state of his soul. He respects Jesus as a moral teacher and he was wondering if that was enough (He didn't SAY that, but that was the underlying theme). He and his wife have different denominational backgrounds, which makes it all difficult. He has some issues with the church and with choosing Jesus as the only way to God (don't we all.)
I spent most of our conversation listening but, when I did speak, all I could say, over and over is that morality is not enough- that trusting in Jesus and leaning on God for everything is the way to a good life and life eternal. I repeated over and over that Jesus was the most clear revelation of God's love for us. It just flowed our my mouth. It was not planned, rehearsed, or scripted. It was not the 10 steps to salvation. I was simply telling him about my love and joy for Jesus Christ- who is enough, even when we are not.
I knew I wasn't going to "win" this conversation. He was not going to get down on his knees in the middle of the bar and give his life to Jesus Christ. As I look back I could probably have said some things differently, but, I was able to encourage him to experience God for himself- to find a church and let God work. I proclaimed that no this world is not good enough, we are not good enough- but God is!!
It was not a sermon. It was not planned. It was the gospel.
Now, you might think that this is a drunken fluke. People do like to have religious conversations while they are drunk or high. But, when we met this friend for the weekend- he said to me "Great! Now we can have a philosophical conversation." God was already bringing these things to his heart and me to this place of ministry. This is not the first time God has brought this to me.
A few months before I left for seminary, I went to a party. My friends were teasing me about going into ministry and a guy freaked out because I was at this party. Eventually we sat down and I was honest with him about my disappointments in life and how I was freaking our about my family and my call. Because of my honesty, I was able to share the gospel with him and comfort him about things in his life. This has defined my call. If I can proclaim the gospel, when I am struggling and in this unique kind of situation- then God can move anywhere.
I may get discouraged that I am not doing my "job" well- my youth aren't coming to me with their problems, that I have little opportunity to pray with them, and they only hear about two awkward sentences of the gospel. I worry a lot about my "job" since I have a different kind of set-up. But, if I can share the love of Jesus with my friends in a bar- then my ministry is complete.
So, God uses bars (the drinking kind- not the playground kind) to remind me of my call. This weekend one of Joe's friends from college got married. It was a big to-do and lots of our old friends were there. I was especially excited because our friends, a couple from North Carolina had come into town. So, after the wedding and reception, we went out (to a bar) with all our old friends. I end up sitting next to the husband of this couple and he starts asking me whether or not I think that people will do the right thing when left to their own devices. Honestly, when we started talking I was annoyed because I thought it was going to be a conversation about health care and I dislike talking to people about health care. But, actually when it came down to it- he was concerned about the state of his soul. He respects Jesus as a moral teacher and he was wondering if that was enough (He didn't SAY that, but that was the underlying theme). He and his wife have different denominational backgrounds, which makes it all difficult. He has some issues with the church and with choosing Jesus as the only way to God (don't we all.)
I spent most of our conversation listening but, when I did speak, all I could say, over and over is that morality is not enough- that trusting in Jesus and leaning on God for everything is the way to a good life and life eternal. I repeated over and over that Jesus was the most clear revelation of God's love for us. It just flowed our my mouth. It was not planned, rehearsed, or scripted. It was not the 10 steps to salvation. I was simply telling him about my love and joy for Jesus Christ- who is enough, even when we are not.
I knew I wasn't going to "win" this conversation. He was not going to get down on his knees in the middle of the bar and give his life to Jesus Christ. As I look back I could probably have said some things differently, but, I was able to encourage him to experience God for himself- to find a church and let God work. I proclaimed that no this world is not good enough, we are not good enough- but God is!!
It was not a sermon. It was not planned. It was the gospel.
Now, you might think that this is a drunken fluke. People do like to have religious conversations while they are drunk or high. But, when we met this friend for the weekend- he said to me "Great! Now we can have a philosophical conversation." God was already bringing these things to his heart and me to this place of ministry. This is not the first time God has brought this to me.
A few months before I left for seminary, I went to a party. My friends were teasing me about going into ministry and a guy freaked out because I was at this party. Eventually we sat down and I was honest with him about my disappointments in life and how I was freaking our about my family and my call. Because of my honesty, I was able to share the gospel with him and comfort him about things in his life. This has defined my call. If I can proclaim the gospel, when I am struggling and in this unique kind of situation- then God can move anywhere.
I may get discouraged that I am not doing my "job" well- my youth aren't coming to me with their problems, that I have little opportunity to pray with them, and they only hear about two awkward sentences of the gospel. I worry a lot about my "job" since I have a different kind of set-up. But, if I can share the love of Jesus with my friends in a bar- then my ministry is complete.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Why people hate Duke (and the church)
For the last few days and weeks, I have been reading articles and watching news reports that center around the theme of why people hate Duke. As a HUGE Duke fan, I still don't quite get it. There is a good coach running a good program (where the athletes actually graduate) and the WIN! Yep. Nothing good about that. All the articles have different reasons and ideas behind this hatred- private school, Coach K, we love the "underdog" etc.
One article, in Sports Illustrated, said that Duke's fans were simply alumni who were spread across the country and people who wanted to be a part of their success. I said to myself that the author simply could not be right. Surely there are Duke fans who haven't attended Duke! There has to be! But, on game day, as I watched my Facebook newsfeed it became glaringly obvious that I was wrong. Besides my Duke student and alumni friends, no one was supporting Duke. :( I realize that I live in Big Orange Country and that you don't have to choose between the two blues like you do in North Carolina. But seriously, NO Duke supporters?
This really bothered me. How are current students and alum the only people who support Duke? I decided that it was because we have EXPERIENCED Duke basketball. We have camped out (for a weekend or a semester) just to get a good standing spot. We have been squished in with thousands of other students just to be a part of the atmosphere. We jumped up and down for weeks! We followed silly and not-so-original cheers. We know the Lobster dance by heart. We camped in rain and frigid temperatures to be front and center. We debate the merits of Zoubs career as we walk to class (and might even run into him in the Loop). Our best friend is the Crazy Towel Guy. We are the sixth man- the Cameron Crazies. We see the good things that these boys and Coach K is doing and we get behind it. Unless you've been there, you just don't get it.
Now you know I still hold a grudge against Coach K for having the audacity to compare himself to Jesus at the graduate camp out. But, I think this kind of experience and community is also why people are uncomfortable with or "hate" the church.
As Christians, we have EXPERIENCED the living God. We sleep on air mattresses for a week when we take the youth on a mission trip. We squish together on a pew for Easter morning worship. We follow the sometimes silly and not-so-original praise songs. We know the Lord's Prayer by heart. We pray through pain and suffering just so we can be a part of what God is doing in the world. We debate the merits of missions and the different types of communion bread as we walk to Sunday School. Our best friend is Jesus. We are the hands and feet of God in the world- the disciples. We see the awesome and amazing things that God is doing in the world and we want to participate in that. Unless you've been there, unless you've experienced the risen Christ- you just don't get it.
First Corinthians says "for the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of Gd." People think we are silly, we are foolish, we have put our faith in a dead God. But, when we invite them into our experiences, they become part of a community. They will get it. They will see that church is more than a group of people and a sermon. When they meet the risen Christ, they will support him with crazy cheers and extreme displays of loyalty and courage. When they see God at work in the world and in their lives, they will be his biggest fan.
My first year at Duke- I didn't attend a single game or watch one on TV. Now I'm their biggest fan because my friends encouraged me to be a part of this experience (and let me in their camp out group). So, who wants to camp out for Jesus?
One article, in Sports Illustrated, said that Duke's fans were simply alumni who were spread across the country and people who wanted to be a part of their success. I said to myself that the author simply could not be right. Surely there are Duke fans who haven't attended Duke! There has to be! But, on game day, as I watched my Facebook newsfeed it became glaringly obvious that I was wrong. Besides my Duke student and alumni friends, no one was supporting Duke. :( I realize that I live in Big Orange Country and that you don't have to choose between the two blues like you do in North Carolina. But seriously, NO Duke supporters?
This really bothered me. How are current students and alum the only people who support Duke? I decided that it was because we have EXPERIENCED Duke basketball. We have camped out (for a weekend or a semester) just to get a good standing spot. We have been squished in with thousands of other students just to be a part of the atmosphere. We jumped up and down for weeks! We followed silly and not-so-original cheers. We know the Lobster dance by heart. We camped in rain and frigid temperatures to be front and center. We debate the merits of Zoubs career as we walk to class (and might even run into him in the Loop). Our best friend is the Crazy Towel Guy. We are the sixth man- the Cameron Crazies. We see the good things that these boys and Coach K is doing and we get behind it. Unless you've been there, you just don't get it.
Now you know I still hold a grudge against Coach K for having the audacity to compare himself to Jesus at the graduate camp out. But, I think this kind of experience and community is also why people are uncomfortable with or "hate" the church.
As Christians, we have EXPERIENCED the living God. We sleep on air mattresses for a week when we take the youth on a mission trip. We squish together on a pew for Easter morning worship. We follow the sometimes silly and not-so-original praise songs. We know the Lord's Prayer by heart. We pray through pain and suffering just so we can be a part of what God is doing in the world. We debate the merits of missions and the different types of communion bread as we walk to Sunday School. Our best friend is Jesus. We are the hands and feet of God in the world- the disciples. We see the awesome and amazing things that God is doing in the world and we want to participate in that. Unless you've been there, unless you've experienced the risen Christ- you just don't get it.
First Corinthians says "for the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of Gd." People think we are silly, we are foolish, we have put our faith in a dead God. But, when we invite them into our experiences, they become part of a community. They will get it. They will see that church is more than a group of people and a sermon. When they meet the risen Christ, they will support him with crazy cheers and extreme displays of loyalty and courage. When they see God at work in the world and in their lives, they will be his biggest fan.
My first year at Duke- I didn't attend a single game or watch one on TV. Now I'm their biggest fan because my friends encouraged me to be a part of this experience (and let me in their camp out group). So, who wants to camp out for Jesus?
Monday, April 5, 2010
Everyone's Doing It
I finally gave in. All my friends are doing it. I have been thinking about it for awhile, but never really knew what to do or say. Finally, my friend encouraged me by calling it a "spiritual discipline." So, I officially blogging now.
I work part-time, mostly from home and therefore, last fall became very, very addicted to reading other people's blogs. I read youth ministry blogs, human trafficking blogs, Christian women's blogs, and of course, the blogs of my friends. It took me so long to decide to write my first blog because I didn't know what I wanted to focus on. So, be warned- I will talk about ministry and my calling but may throw in anything.
I named my blog "A Deacon's Life" because no one knows what a deacon does. It is different for every church and denomination. For myself, it is an ordained position of great creativity. If it serves God and proclaims the gospel, you can do it! You can work in a church, a business, a jail, at home- It looks differently for everyone. I am looking forward to exploring the ways that God uses this creativity and flexibility in my life!
I work part-time, mostly from home and therefore, last fall became very, very addicted to reading other people's blogs. I read youth ministry blogs, human trafficking blogs, Christian women's blogs, and of course, the blogs of my friends. It took me so long to decide to write my first blog because I didn't know what I wanted to focus on. So, be warned- I will talk about ministry and my calling but may throw in anything.
I named my blog "A Deacon's Life" because no one knows what a deacon does. It is different for every church and denomination. For myself, it is an ordained position of great creativity. If it serves God and proclaims the gospel, you can do it! You can work in a church, a business, a jail, at home- It looks differently for everyone. I am looking forward to exploring the ways that God uses this creativity and flexibility in my life!
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